Single again…


So, I’m single, again…

This is getting really tiring at this point in my life. You know the whole, meet someone, get to know them, start to see the chinks in the armour after a bit…the whole process.  Sometimes you just gotta wonder if it’s even worth it. I know I do.  Because you know that the next person that comes along is going to have issues, everybody has issues, and do I really want to deal with a whole new set of issues? These are just some of the things I think about when I contemplate putting myself back out there.

Of course then you have the other side of the coin. Loneliness…yup sometimes you just wish there was someone there and there isn’t. So what do you do, start talking to yourself, some people do that…I talk to my dog. At least that way I can be crazy and not really look like I am.

Going out alone is kind of a bummer too. If I just want to go down to the local pub and play some darts I feel self-conscious about it. A woman going into a bar alone, well, of course some women do that, but I’m not one of those women.

Of course you can go out with friends, but most of your friends are married with kids and such. The ones that aren’t are too busy because they are trying to fill the void in their lives with work or classes in something. It makes it tough.

So I suppose, at some point in time, I will begin to long for that companionship again, enough that I will forget about the pitfalls and troubles that go along with it. Or, maybe I’ll just go to Tibet and become a monk…oh wait their guys too aren’t they? Maybe I’ll be the first ever monkette…because the thought of doing this all over again is one great big pain in the ass.

Wish me luck!

My Awesome Soldier



The following was written by me for a young man in the first Gulf War. We corresponded for about one year and it was heartwarming and wonderful. He thankfully came home in one piece and we lost touch awhile later. I miss you John and hope you’re doing well.

My Awesome Soldier

My Awesome Soldier
So Young, so brave, so optimistic

You faced death
Yet remained so full of life

I was here
Safe from danger
Yet so scared

Imagine that
I needed you 
To help me through

Every letter made my day
Too few came

I kept you sane?
You’ll never know what you did for me!

My days are brighter
My life is richer 
For knowing you

How About Living Your First Life


Last night I watched a special on the ridiculously popular online world called ‘Second Life”. I was in utter amazement of this whole concept, and not amazement in a good way, but amazement in the “what the f*@+” kind of way!

Do any of these fools realize the amount of money they’re spending on NOTHING!!! Virtual things are nothing, not tangible in any way shape or form. You people do realize that there’s a REAL world out there, just beyond your mousepad: real people, things, places, clothes, stuff of every kind.

There was one woman who said she spent 14 to 16 hours every day in ‘Second Life’. Granted ahe makes a lot of money in her virtual store, but when does she spend it. She has no REAL life. I can’t even get my head around that. Let alone the fact that these people actually spend real money in this virtual world. Lots os it. They even spend it on sex toys and body modification. 

Then when I ever heard that the big conglomerates were buying virtual buildings and advertising in this make-believe world, well, at that point I just sat there with my mouth agape and my eyes wide in sheer disbelief and horror.

Does this make any sense to anyone who has any sense?

There are people homeless and starving, right here in our own country, and there are 6500 computers running  ‘Second Life’ from their home base in San Francisco, CA.


I need some real people to talk to about this because I think it may cause me to have a nervous breakdown. I think I need counseling. Maybe I’m the crazy one. Should I join ‘Second Life’ and leave my real family, friends and loved ones to wonder what became of me?


It is a sad day, a terrible day for the world when people, real people, have to go to a virtual world for 14 to 16 hours a day, every day, to avoid life. It’s worse than drugs.

Someone out there please try and help me understand this lunacy, before I go stark raving mad!!!!

Where Do You Even Start

There is so much going on in politics but I guess the economy is the biggest thing right now on everyone’s mind. What’s going to happen? Who the hell knows. It’s a wait and see game at the moment. Personally, when I listen to all the pundits talking it just seems that they’re all basically saying the same thing, which is essentially nothing. They’re all just giving educated opinions. I’ve heard twenty-two different scenarios as far as this ecomonic bailout goes. No one really knows. It’s never been done before. It would be great if we were all clued in as to exactly how this thing is supposed to work, but we’re not. We have to ‘trust’ our government officials…wow, sorry but my trust meter doesn’t register in the government zone anymore. As a matter of fact they’re not even on the meter. My lack of trust in this current administration is comparable to me handing Freddie Krueger a knife and asking him to cut my steak for me. 

I really think we’ve reached a new era in this country where things are never going to be the same. My only hope is that we move forward instead of falling into the yawning pit that’s directly in front of us. We need to build a bridge that’s going to take awhile, but it can be done. Things have got to change drastically and not everyone will come out a winner, but I don’t think it’s about that anymore, it’s about survival for now and moving on as soon as possible. On to where, well that remains to be seen. Hopefully to a brighter tomorrow, where we get back on track and establish a foreign policy that makes us more friends and less enemies. That’s going to be a hard task, but again I believe it can be done. We need to unravel all the threads of collusion and corruption, find out which lead where and how we can make them go from point A to point B in a straighter line. It’s a huge job, and one I don’t envy anyone having to do, but it needs to be done. At least a start has to be made. No more of this we’ll support you and help you with weapons and money util you piss us off, then we’ll demonize you and say we never had anything to do with you. That’s got to be put to rest. Don’t give them weapons and then get mad when they use them against us and others. What did you think they were going to do with them, start a collection? Don’t fund these governments that are killing thier own people. I could go on and on but there’s no point. There are major things wrong with the world and they all need to be fixed, like I said this is a chance to start over. Let’s do things right this time cause I think it’s probably our last chance.

The Rudest City in the USA

I live in Boston, grew up here, left for a couple of years recently, but now I’m back. I’m really beginning to hate this place. Not because, it’s dirty, which it is, not because it’s crowded, which it is, not because it’s expensive, which it is, but because the people in Boston have to be the rudest, most inconsaiderate people on the fucking planet.

Example one…On the bus the other day, three teen girls get on and block the front of the bus by the door. That in itself pissed me off to no end, but then when they didn’t even move for a guy with a cane, my vision went red and I almost lost it. How badly brought up do you have to be to stand in the way while a man with a cane has to make his way around you. There was plenty of room on this bus by the way. Those girls almost got the reaming of their little lives from a stranger. If they hadn’t gotten off the bus shortly after, I was going after them. They were saved by their geographic location.

Example two…On the bus, yet again, yes I don’t drive so I take the public tranportation everywhere. Anyway, on the bus…this gigantic woman gets up in the middle of the narrow bus aisle between the seats and proceeds to bend over and shuffle through some newspapers that someone had left on a seat. I was getting ready to get off, so I stood up behind her, hoping she would take the hint and move, yeah, wishful thinking. Only at the very last minute did she sidle a bit sideways so me and my boyfriend could squeeze by. Then she gave us a death look, like we did something wrong…(cocking my head sideways like a dog that has just been shown a card trick)!

The trains are even worse, the subways that is. It used to be, back when I was a child and dinosaurs still roamed the earth, that people would step to the side until people got on or off the trains. Then and only then would we board. I knew this even as a very small child, because that was what I had been taught. Now you have to push your way on and off the train, and hope you get on or off before they close the doors, because these ignorant asswipes won’t move or give up their spot in front of the doors. What the hell people?

I am going on a vigilante spree to teach people manners again. It just seems like everyone in this city thinks that whatever they have to do or wherever they have to go is more important than what everyone else is doing. Guess what shitheads, get the hell over yourselves and start acting human again. We all have things to do and places to go, hence us being on the fucking trains and busses in the first place. You are not better, nor do you deserve special treatment, so get a clue before you meet up with me, because personally, I have had it…

The Woman Has Cancer for Christ’s Sake!!!

I can’t believe that the people of this country are a bunch of peeping toms and voyeurs. Yes I’m talking about the fact that they are dragging the Edward’s family through the mud because they had some personal issues, I repeat again, PERSONAL ISSUES, back in 2006.

Yeah, yeah, he lied, wanna know why? You try telling a tabloid reporter that your family would like to keep this quiet because it’s a very painful thing. Try it, especially if you’re a PUBLIC figure. They’ll be real sympathetic, I’m sure.

When are the people of this country going to open their eyes and realize that there is a HUGE difference between, private and public goings on. If you had an affair, and told your spouse about it, would you want your boss and all your co-workers an friends to know about it and never trust you again? Of course not, who would. I think the fact that he told his wife about it is the most courageous thing I’ve heard in a long time. How many people do you know that have done things and never told thier mate? I know several.